I will wait for you

It's long but worth the read:

I Will Wait…for You” — Janette Ikz

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him
Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THEIF So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,

Cause it was ME who let him in…
Claiming we were “just friends”..
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!
I was gonna make him ‘The One’..

You know… I was tired of being alone,
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride,
Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride..
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!
Who was tired of the wait!

So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.
He had a… form of Godliness… but not much..
But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me

Arties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He sawed,
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
TO transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I NEED to wait… for You.
See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
Cause in the beginning was the Word
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to
Asking him to fast would be absurd!
So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…
But I know You..
You were already praying for me
Even never having met me
Let me assure you, I will wait for you
I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention

And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held

Cause ♫”all I gotta do is Say” No!
NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks & buying drinks,
I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’

NO more.
I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you,
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down,
From so-called friends & family talks,
About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham & I would be Sara Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.

If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son..
I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥
And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…

More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT.

Just In case you had not seen it check it out here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs

Random Internet Wanderings

50 books every black woman should read:

1.    Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

2.    The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

3.    Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris-Perry

4.    The Miseducation of the Negro by Carter G. Woodson

5.    Soledad Brother: The Prison Letters of George Jackson by George Jackson

6.    Cane by Jean Toomer

7.    The Prisoner's Wife by asha bandele

8.    Krik? Krak? by Edwidge Danticat

9.    Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

10.    The Blacker the Berry by Wallace Thurman

11.    Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman

12.    Black Bourgeoise by E. Franklin Frazier

13.    Jubilee by Margaret Walker

14.    Mumbo Jumbo by Ishmael Reed

15.    The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

16.    Kindred by Octavia Butler

17.    One Day My Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant

18.    In Search of Satisfaction by J. California Cooper

19.    Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

20.    A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry

21.    A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gaines

22.    Black Betty by Walter Mosley

23.    Maud Martha by Gwendolyn Brooks

24.    I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

25.    for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is not enuf by Ntozake Shange

26.    Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman by Michele Wallace

27.    The Color Purple by Alice Walker

28.    The Souls of Black Folk by W. E. B. DuBois

29.    The Street by Ann Petry

30.    The Women of Brewster Place by Gloria Naylor

31.    Praisesong for the Widow by Paule Marshall

32.    This Bridge Called My Back by Cherríe L. Moraga

33.    Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde

34.    Waiting to Exhale by Terri McMillan

35.    Native Son by Richard Wright

36.    Your Blues Ain’t Like Mine by Bebe Moore Campbell

37.    Kehinde by Buchi Emecheta

38.    We a BaddDDD People by Sonia Sanchez

39.    The Ways of White Folks by Langston Hughes

40.    Fences by August Wilson

41.    The Debt by Randall Robinson

42.    Conversations With God: Two Centuries of Prayers by African-Americans by James Melvin Washington

43.    The Little Black Book of Success by Elaine Meryl Brown, Rhonda Joy McLean and Marsha Haygood

44.    Annie Allen by Gwendolyn Brooks

45.    Why I Love Black Women by Michael Eric Dyson

46.    The Wedding by Dorothy West

47.    When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost by Joan Morgan

48.    Tumbling by Diane McKinney-Whetstone

49.    What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage

50.    Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama

I haven't read any of the above but I have seen a few of the movies that were based on the books.

( Via: 

http://www.essence.com/2012/11/08/write-or-die-chick-50-good-books-every-black-woman-should-read

)

Humour...

26 Things...(Part 1)

I am turning 26 in about 5 months and I am kind of crazy about birthdays , they just make me realise that I am growing older (Duh) and therefore should be reaching for more . Usually I draw up a list of really elaborate and big plans that I plan to accomplish within that year. More times than not unfortunately I fail miserably.
This year however I've decided to take things much slower and just draw a list of things that I would enjoy doing or would find adventurous.
Sooo...a list of 26 things I want to do before I turn 26.
I'll cancel these things off the list as I go along and they are accomplished, I know some of them will be hard to do but I wouldn't do even attempt them if I don't set the goal, so I might as well try.

1. Watch a horror movie by myself at the cinema.
I know this would not be a big deal to most people , I am however the biggest scaredy cat I know and have never even seen a horror movie , true story.
2. Send flowers to my best friend for no reason.
She's just an awesome human being and deserves it.
3. Take my parents and little brother out for dinner at a nice restaurant.
4. Test drive a car I know I cannot afford ( 3 Series anyone?)
5. Dance in the rain ( I have actually done this a few times before and I love it sooo much)
6. Run a 10K race with the girls.
7. Take a pole dancing class with the girls ( I think we'll do this for my birthday next year)
8. Read the new testament from beginning to end.

That's it for now , I am thinking up the things as I go along.

xoxo

DayDreaming...( Home Edition)

  Love theses photos of some amazing lounges and Libraries. 

Nothing says Baws like a cute bookshelf and a faux fur couch

Big couch + Lots of books  = Heaven